Tag: Peace

Broken Beautiful

When our daughter was about 4 she made this. We often spent many nice weather days in the garage working on messy crafts. One day a bottle of glitter glue fell and shattered. The older plastic had less flexibility so it did not handle the quick impact too well.  Well that sweet girl of mine was not bothered in the least.  She grabbed the broken pieces and other refuse from the messy garage created by previous art projects and went to work on this masterpiece.  I have saved it. My daughter has been gifted from our Maker with many artistic talents. It is amazing to witness her discover them, improve them and  watch her flourish. This however will always remain one of my favorites. Out of a broken mess, an unexpected shattering of beauty and some unlikely items others would easily discard, (present company included) my sweet girl saw usefulness and with just the right handling beauty resulted.  Our homes, our careers, our relationships , our marriages, our finances, our parenting, our physical health, our emotions, lives, our souls may be shattered, a mess, or seeming like garbage.  I am certain my friends if we would trust whatever it is in the hands of our faithful, loving Maker he can transform it into a masterpiece.  It is so hard to trust the process. It is so hard to see sometimes beyond the chaos, pain and mess. Trust me I am the optimist and I struggle, but He will weave together something more beautiful than we could ever have dreamed.  Praying you have peace and trust our Master Potter with our messy, broken vessels.

Calm in the storm

The day began rough with a sleepless night, a sick loved one and an unexpected calling out of work to take them for an urgent visit. (Thankfully all will be well). Since I missed work I was able to go to church tonight. Due to my work schedule I really don’t get to attend Wednesday night service at church anymore.  When I first visited St. Timothy’s all those years ago  it was on a Wednesday night.  In fact early on before we had affirmation from the Lord this would indeed become our new church home we would attend Wed night services here and our prior church Sundays.  This has been home for more than 10 years now. How I love the sounds of Sunday morning and all of the smiling faces and the beautiful worship Sunday services, there is just something about Wed night , calmer pace , quieter, simpler Eucharist service that just ministers to my soul.  Tonight it was a much needed balm for a weary soul.  Even attending the service meant I had to trust God that my ill family member was in good care and ok while I left home to attend the service. I had to lay everything my worries, my fears, my exhaustion, my regrets (missing work means rescheduling patients and disrupting their lives too), the whole mess of it….I had to choose to lay it at the foot of the cross.  In return I was given peace, hope restored, and some soul healing for myself as I was able to stand around the altar with my brothers and sisters, my husband, and my priest and experience the thin veil between heaven and earth pulled aside so that we the church militant could sup with our Lord in Holy Communion with a great cloud of witnesses, the church triumphant.  Oh the souls I know in love in that Church Triumphant and the ones I have yet to know. What a glorious day that will be.  For now I am thankful for the fellowship of believers in my parish at St. Timothy’s led by my priest who is a very good shepherd.  I am thankful for the calm and peace of this slower pace , quiet Wed night Eucharist service.  I am thankful that we have a God who meets all of our needs according to the riches we have in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19)

Dad’s 74th Birthday

Happy Heavenly Birthday Daddy!

To say I miss you is an understatement, but hope and joy from the hope of Christ wraps the lament in this beautiful peace. Most of the time when I think of you this Peace is the superseding emotion, but from time to time the lament overpowers it and that’s ok- the hope remains.

It wasn’t always this way. The early days in the fog of the grief not only was the lament stronger, there were times the fog of grief was so heavy you couldn’t even tread water- the day to day simple things I had done hundreds of times felt like someone placed weights on my body and made me walk through quicksand. Oh it was foggy, so you had to tread it not seeing but a few steps ahead of you. Even in those heavy days I held onto hope and faith in knowing you were free, but the heavy days were heavy.

I share so that others in the fog of grief right now can know two things. ONE- you can have faith and hope and still feel the heavy weight of grief and TWO- in time the fog does lift and light breaks through. You carry the grief with you always but it is not so heavy. If you are in the fog of grief I am praying for you – hold fast .. the light will break through…….

Daddy, I hated the stroke limited your body and caused you struggles. However a gift was your inhibitory mechanism to remain stoic and quiet was impacted so we had some of the best conversations. I got to know what you really thought!! I enjoyed our time watching Westerns, though now it all feels too short.

One always laments the time they didn’t spend and it’s too easy to get sucked into that vacuum of regret and I know you wouldn’t have me do that so instead I will cherish all the times we did have while knowing the love between a father and their child is not dependent on being in the same room.

Daddy thanks for working so hard for us, teaching us so much, and taking us fishing!!! I love you and will #seeyouinalittlewhile

Salty Tears

Ocean calls me
Like she’s my home
But I only just met her
And yet I belong

Waves rushing in
To greet the boulders
Waiting on the shore
Welcomes strangers
Same as friends

Sitting on that rock
Contemplating
Reminiscing
Dreaming
Seeking
Solitude and peace

Her icy waters soothe
Burning desires
deep soul wounds
Salty spray meets my tears
Been here a minute
Feels like years

Salt in my lungs
Water in my veins
Sun on my face
Here comes the pain

Quit holding back
Gotta let it out
Cry a sea of tears
Crashing waves of fear

Sand, sun, and sea
What a beautiful place
To make peace
With my grief

©️2023 sillypoeticnurse

Peace Like a Sweater

This Second Sunday of Advent we light the candle symbolizing peace.
Peace – calmness, stillness, tranquility
May you steal away some quiet moments to sit in stillness and reflect on peace. I,
Shelly struggled with sitting still. I do still, but by God’s grace and the Holy Spirit’s work of transformation that is ongoing in my life , I have learned how to. But truly, I will tell you I am not sure I learned it really, but I opened myself up to receive it. One morning, it was a Saturday, my daughter was still young and I was still in those early days as a nurse practitioner where the learning curve was high and working in family practice was demanding and exhausting. Keeping up with a toddler was demanding and exhausting. I loved both(obviously the toddler more) but I was spent. In fact, financially for my family the NP part was necessary. So depleted on this Saturday morning I miraculously had a few moments to myself. I remember the echo of the scripture, “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10). I had heard it. I had read it. I had heard others preach it and advise it. I didn’t know how to do it. I sat at my breakfast table that Saturday morning and cried out to the Lord, “Lord, what is still?? And how do I be it????”. That morning was the first, but not the last when I was embraced with this calmness. This feeling of stillness and serenity, this way my soul felt that was beyond understanding. It descended upon me like a warm mist and seemed to envelop me like the softest, gentlest cashmere. Later that morning I was moved to pen a poem and from that morning much transpired in my spiritual journey. But for the sake of this Sunday, this moment we are just going to pause at that warm embrace of the gentle , calmness that soothed my weary , exhausted body, mind and soul.

That peace I cannot give but He does.
Ask Him for it.
Then open yourself up to receive it!

Daddy’s Home for Easter

Radiant warmth beamed down

As we sang of truth and hope

Fellow sojourners on every side

Melodies unlocked the recesses

Of heart and mind and soul

Allowing tears to outward flow

And a soothing balm to enter in

Images and flashes of painful moments

Glimpses of hospital rooms and graves

From the back to the front of my mind

Not to haunt but to heal this time

Resurrection promises more than hope

But blessed assurance and peace

We do not think, or hope or just believe

We KNOW because he ascended

So too shall we who are alive in Him

Dad made it a point to let us know

The Christ, his Savior was his hope

So he is home and he is whole

Restored, renewed, and rejoicing

And whether it’s a whisper from him

Or a whisper from our Lord

Heaven came down to hug my soul

This sunny Easter morn

Radiant beam from the Son

On this most sacred day

To let me know my Daddy is with Our Father

And we’ll be together again

Jehovah Shalom

The world is on fire,  it’s more than I can handle. I’ll tap into the water and try to bring my share.

Sarah McLachlan



While there is nothing new under the sun, the challenges of this world can be overwhelming. Disease , illness, death, political entanglements, wars, deception…

Deep down we yearn for peace because we are made in the image of our Maker. I appeal to that image in us all to seek peace from our Maker. From that peace a river of kindness and love of our fellow man will flow. Know you are loved by a God who offers a peace that is not as the world gives peace, but a peace that transcends all of this mess. My prayer is that you may know this very peace even now.

I also invite you to pray for the people in Ukraine but also the people in Russia.
Pray for these citizens caught in the middle of this political unrest and turmoil.

Pray also for the leaders of BOTH countries that their hearts and minds will be open to find a peaceable way to live together as neighbors.

O Death, Where is your sting?

Today is my Uncle Steven Carl Hicks’ first heavenly birthday. He entered eternal rest Aug.28, 2021.

Today in church we sang these words from an opening song
“Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave
Oh death! Where is your sting?
Oh hell! Where is your victory?”

As I sang tears streamed down my face as I both grieved my Uncle’s death and rejoiced in the truth of this song. In these tears I had simultaneously much needed pent up grief released and yes also joy.

Later during the service we sang the hymn, “Come Thou Fount”

The tears constantly flowed as I sang the words of this hymn we sang at my Grandma Arlene’s memorial. You see it was at this very memorial Unc stood up before his family and proclaimed fervently the truth that is proclaimed in that hymn. He knew this truth. It transformed him. His life changed dramatically and he yearned for all of his family to have this same hope and joy.

So today it felt as if Uncle Stevie, and Grandma (Memaw) , my two faith giants were smiling from heaven while I sang out through tears and sometimes choked through this resounding truth:

“Jesus sought me when a stranger
Wandering from the fold of God
He to rescue me from danger
Interposed His precious blood

Oh, that day when freed from sinning
I shall see Thy lovely face
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace

Come my Lord, no longer tarry
Take my ransomed soul away
Send Thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless days

Oh, to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be
Let Thy goodness like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here’s my heart, oh take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above
Here’s my heart
Oh take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above”

And as if God through His tender, comforting Holy Spirit reached into the recesses of my grieving heart and said, “I know it hurts sweet Shelly and I am here.”

Something’s Missing

The star is missing atop the tree

And that Christmas village didn’t appear

There was something off about Christmas

Something was missing this year

I could blame being busy

but that was not the truth

What is missing this Christmas

What is missing is you

So it was hard to get started

To put up the tinsel and the tree

But I know there is joy despite the grief

And Christmas is the very reason for hope

So I dwelled on that truth to cope

And decked the halls and the mantle

And set out the advent candles

But despite my intention

Despite my peace

That star didn’t make it atop the tree

And so this year our tree top was bare

No angel or star placed up there

But it waxes poetic because my heart

This Christmas was missing a great star

But the hope of Christmas that rings true

Is where the stars and angels and newborn Savior abides

That is where my missing Christmas star is for eternal life