Me and the moon
Had an interlude
We didn’t scream or shout
Yet we figured out
We both have our phases
Darkness and light
But we both like it best
When we shine bright
Seems the moon and me
We both agree
Even the darkest dark
Can’t hide a spark
So even though
We ebb and flow
Our inner glow
On the darkest night
Keeps the light
Of Hope
And the darkness cannot overcome it
Today my only child heads out the door to begin her senior year. The last 12 years truly have flown by. It is surreal that we are here!! How did we fast forward through learning to walk, to putting monkeys (stuffed) in the microwave (toy kitchen) to gnome, fairy and Barbie adventures to her last year of high school. We had fun getting stuck in ice cream trucks (Snow Buddies), building Legos, Littlest Pet Shop parties, Mario Bros adventures and races. She went from learning to read, to write in cursive, to many doodles and scribbles and now art in full manga style among other images. She went from playing piano by ear since she was young to self taught ukulele then acoustic and electric guitar. She went from trips to Chuck E Cheese to the Game Preserve and movie nights with friends. She started dressing up as princesses, fairies, and lady bugs and continues to dress up, but now as more complex cosplay characters for comic cons and anime fests. She started her theater debut as a Dalmatian and has continued on to portray a Greek goddess, a Constable, a nurse, and a cranky businessman. There have been so many fun adventures and memories that the volumes would exceed Tolstoy’s great work. Thank you Lord for each moment of joy and for each trial and triumph.
I have so much joyful expectation for her. I have prayed and will pray even more fervently that she know who she is in Christ Jesus. I pray she takes all the gifts and talents the Lord has bestowed upon her and continues to grow in them so she may serve His Kingdom well by utilizing these gifts to bring light to a broken, weary world.
After she and my husband who teaches at her school both left for the morning, I sat sipping on my coffee and picked up my bible. I turned toward the Psalms and opened up to Psalm 27. I read it aloud.
I got to to these verses and I choked through tears . Teach me your way, Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. There are two reasons this verse choked me up. First it echoes the plea found in Psalm 25: 4-5 which Kyra chose as her verse when she was baptized at age 8. Second, because of my oppressors -she has a story to tell that is her own but it involves some bullying in middle school and some challenges with depression and anxiety. Add to that some physical challenges that began to manifest in middle school mildly that were exacerbated and fully flared up after a virus last year. The oppressors of physical, mental, and spiritual torment come after us all in different ways. I watched the past couple of years my child take on some challenges, I am not sure I could have endured so well when I was her age. And then the next verses make a praying , pleading mother’s heart burst with hope and joy invincible and expectation that greater things are yet to come. I remain confident of this : I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. She will be healed and flourish like a seed planted by a stream. What the enemy has meant for evil against my sweet precious girl, God will use for good.
I pray for her delivery from anxiety, depression and the illness that afflicts her body. I pray for her soul wounds to heal. I pray for her to rise out of the ashes and soar. I know our God is good and has great plans for her. So I am holding fast to that promise here, now in the land of the living.
The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light.
Romans 13:12
I want her to learn and grow in her studies this year. I want her to continue to be equipped to take on the world . I want her to develop skills and nurture her God given talents . When she was confirmed Bishop alluded to her God given talents and prayed she would use them for God’s Kingdom.
“Mom, ” she said inquisitively. “Did Bishop say the same thing to everyone confirmed today? ”
“No , he prayed a unique prayer for each of you, ” I replied.
“Mom, Bishop does not know about my art and music, does he?”
“No, Kyra, but the Holy Spirit does and Bishop is very in tune with the Holy Spirit.”
I share this with my readers, but it is more a reminder to myself that the Holy Spirit knows and guides her. Our Lord has a plan for her and it is GOOD!
You see her name, Kyra means light or Lord. She is and has been my light from the Lord. I know he does not intend her light for me alone but for the world as she reflects his light. I pray he continues to shine his Light in and through her that she may reflect this light and shine into a dark world that craves light and hope.
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
John 1:5
Reflections after reading the December 1 excerpt from Malcolm Guite’s Waiting on the Word
I contemplate the paradox of our lives born into darkness and yet light. We are in darkness as we are void of knowledge or understanding about the world, our Maker, and even ourselves. We are in light as we are created in the Imago Dei. The Great Light is our Creator and we are made in His image and likeness. Enter in the will.
We are created on purpose, with a purpose and a divine plan for that purpose. We are created by a Maker that designed us for relationship with Him and our fellow creatures. Since we cannot be forced to love or else it is no love at all and because our Maker did not want mere robots we are given a will and the ability to choose. We choose wrongly thus darkness enters.
Despite the darkness of our sin there is that spark of the Imago Dei that was deposited within us at our creation and it seems that very spark seeks to draw itself to even more light until we are face to face with the Light of the World. This first spark is what I think of in reading George Herbert’s poem The Glance. The first glance from our Maker was at our creation. However the moment our will goes against God, it leads us into the hiding as Adam hid. In regard to this hiding as Guite notes in regards to Herbert’s poem there is this tension between hiding and seeking. There is this conflict between darkness and light.
The good news is this:
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it
John 1:5
After reflecting upon Guite’s discussion of Herbert’s poem, I recalled a vivid image the Lord revealed to me that inspired the poem I penned below. The image was a dark canvas if you will that stretched as far as the eye could see. There were pin pricks of light breaking through. Then there were punches that allowed even more light. The pin pricks were glimpses of God and the punches were gazes. Discovering Herbert’s poem entitled The Glance thrilled my soul as I saw this common thread of Truth that predates the glimpses granted to me by the Holy Spirit.
When I consider the stars
Dark infinite canvas
Glimpses of light
Glimpses of truth
Piercing the night
And then
Something is torn
Pain rips a hole
Yet through that pain
Greater light shines through
Not a glimpse, but a gaze
Of light
Of truth
Piercing the darkness
In time
Truth adds to truth
Even darkness becomes light
Basking in the truth
Of this canvas’ Creator
It is interesting and most consistent with what I know of our Lord that those gazes seem to accompany the hard seasons. In my youthful naivete I would likely have been tempted to forgo the gazes to prevent the accompanying pain. My flawed almost superstitious thinking was if I don’t see the gazes then nothing bad will happen to those I love. The reality is we live in a fallen world where pain and darkness exist, but our loving Creator gives us these gazes to sustain us through the pain.
This brings to mind a conversation I had with my Daddy about life and death. I thought it peculiar that every time a baby was born it was near a death in the family. I confessed my dear to my Dad. “I think babies are wonderful Daddy, but it makes you not want any to come so you don’t have to give up someone you love.”
Dad pointed out that my thinking was not in order. “No , Shelly it’s the other way around. Death will come. Those who pass on will leave, but God gives us new life in babies to show hope still lives.” [God is faithful as we bid Daddy farewell to his heavenly rest in July we welcomed my nephew James Knox this October. ]
Which brings us inadvertently to our advent theme. The darkness was in the world, but the light would not be overcome. So our Great Light, our Creator, Maker ,Elohim, Yahweh, Jehovah, Heavenly Father, The Great I Am saw fit to send us a baby that would not only show us hope lives despite death and darkness, but this very baby would defeat death.
Oh Christ child what a glorious gaze of light. That we may gaze upon your face and you gaze into ours so we may fully know and understand how loved we are by you. So in the darkness of advent we wait expectantly for the Hope that is the Light of the World.
Come Lord Jesus, Come
It only takes a spark
To overcome the dark
Hope has not died
She did not even run and hide
The noise tries to drown her out
She does not respond with shouts
If you can steady your soul
You can hear her whisper
“Come on home”
This year, this day, this moment: God is working. His light is shining in whatever darkness encroaches our lives and this world. In the midst of pandemic, illness, economic uncertainty, political unrest ,
divisiveness, discouragement, and yes even despair. If one looks for it there is a light that shines through. The light is brighter than we ourselves can perceive because of our position from it. It only takes a flicker of light to defeat darkness. My prayer for you all is despite whatever personal challenges or worldly upheaval is threatening to extinguish your light that you may know the Light of the World is eternal and has defeated the darkness. In the midst of health issues, hospitalizations, and other calamities there is also reconciliation, answered prayers, mercy triumphing over hardened hearts, healing (both likely and unlikely), provision, and a peace that goes beyond all circumstances. May you know the Light and may this HOPE sustain you even in what seems to be your darkest night.
Stabbing Windmills 